- You begin to notice emotional
distance between the two of you. Things just aren’t the way they used to be.
- Your instinct tells you he/she is being unfaithful. Deep in your heart of hearts you sense something has gone wrong with your relationship.
- You begin spending less time together. Your bf/gf tells you he/she doesn’t have the time for you like they used to.
- The one you love so much stops asking you to go out and do special things together. Your bf/gf just doesn’t have the time for you like before.
- They suddenly start encouraging you to spend time with other people. Their rationalization is If you spend time with other people, then I can too.
- There’s a distinct change in his/her schedule. They often make excuses for the extended time of running errands.
- There are huge blocks of time your bf/gf is secretive about. They won’t tell you where they have been.
- You notice suspicious computer or cell phone activity like secret texts, emails or strange websites. Many people are caught cheating because of what is on their computers or cell phones.
- He/she doesn’t answer certain phone calls when you’re around. They look especially panicked when the phone rings.
- He/she doesn’t talk to you about all their deepest feelings anymore.
- They appear anxious when you’re together and want to leave, maybe they say they’re just tired. Cheating drains their emotional and physical energy because of fear they’re going to get caught or from spending a lot of their time trying to cover their tracks.
- You notice a sudden change in their appearance, or they have an increased concern about how they look. Your bf/gf probably has a new reason to look great, and that person is most likely the one they’re cheating with.
- He/she hangs around with a new best friend of the opposite sex a lot, even more than they spend time with you.
- Your bf/gf spends time with his/her ex, but claims nothing is happening.
- He/she begins to be increasingly critical of you, or blames you for cheating, even when you haven’t. This is a way of putting you on the defensive and making them feel better about what they are doing.
Don’t Ignore The Warning Signs
The above indicators are all warning signs. If you notice multiple changes in behavior, routine or personality, and not just isolated incidences, you should confront them about these signs. You should always trust first, but don’t ignore red flags.
It’s also important to be aware that you can’t always trust your “gut feeling.” Sometimes it’s just jealousy and insecurity creeping in.
Lexie has closing words of advice for us: “I think what makes a good relationship is honesty. You cannot lie to the other person or cheat! That will seriously ruin everything in the relationship and you might not be able to fix it after it’s happened. If anything’s wrong, tell each other and try to work it out.”
Whatever the Outcome You are Worthy of Love
If you find out your partner is cheating on you, do not let yourself think for a moment that you are not worthy of love. God created you to be just who you are and he loves you as His precious child. In this messy, sinful world we live in, people will hurt each other. It doesn’t mean you ever deserved to by hurt. In fact, God desires that we love each other selflessly, the way He loves us. This is how God describes love in the Bible.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)